THE DOCTOR WHO RATINGS GUIDE: BY FANS, FOR FANS

Torchwood
Day One

Story No. 2 Oh yes, yes!
Production Code Series One Episode Two
Dates October 22 2006

With John Barrowman, Eve Myles, Burn Gorman, Naoko Mori and Gareth David-Lloyd.
Written by Chris Chibnall Directed by Brian Kelley
Executive Producers: Russell T Davies, Julie Gardner.

Synopsis: There's a gaseous alien on the loose and it needs something very exciting indeed.


Reviews

Hubba hubba at the Hub by John Nor 27/11/06

If (as I described with my review of the first episode Everything Changes) there was a mystery as to what the Cardiff Torchwood organisation is and what it does, the second episode seemed to back away from this ambiguity. They were presented as investigators of strange phenomena. An alien that disintegrated people through having sex with them was on the loose, and it was up to the team to stop it.

What I mean to say is, that while the first scene of Everything Changes appeared to show them investigating a murder, which was then revealed to be them experimenting for the heck of it with a metal glove that resurrects the dead, with episode Day One from the get-go their mission was defined: stop her before she shags again!

It will be interesting to discover whether future episodes will be like this, with a clear case for them to solve each week, or whether the format will be as unlimited as the first episode suggested. The first two episodes were broadcast in the UK as a double bill, so I will be referring to the earlier episode occasionally, as they were presented together and are both fresh in my mind.

I have mentioned in my review of Everything Changes how the look and imagery of the show Ultraviolet seems to be an influence, and mentioned in that review the gases and powders of an violet hue to be found in this second episode. Further similarities with Ultraviolet are to be found here, as it is reminiscent of that show's use of fantastical events with a subtext commenting on contemporary issues. Torchwood here seems to be saying something about our 21st Century Western society with its saturation of sexual images (during the scene where the alien/girl strides through a mass of steamy advertising), but what that message was is unclear, and by the time we are confronted with mass disintegrations in a sperm bank, the subtext is fuzzy to be sure.

To remind us that the first episode of Torchwood was post-watershed (and NOT Doctor Who), there was copious amounts of violence; this episode has copious amounts of sex. The scene in the club toilet was very much a statement of intent for the show.

Where Torchwood does share similarities with New Series Doctor Who is with Gwen's and Rose's contributions. Just as Rose reminded the Doctor to be a bit more human sometimes, so Gwen points the team in the direction of the human side of the case.

As shown in Everything Changes, the group seemed to be losing their collective focus. Gwen seems to giving the team a bit of moral purpose beyond messing about with alien technology: to help people.

Of the others in the team apart from Jack and Gwen, Owen has had his character sketched out the most. An obnoxious, lecherous lad, he is already at loggerheads with Gwen. Toshiko and Ianto are more reserved but we will surely learn more about them as the series progresses.

Jack will be familiar to viewers of Doctor Who New Series Season One, but the character we see here is subtly different. A bit more subdued. He still seems sometimes to act like a self-interested rogue, as shown by chasing after the hand in the jar rather than the girl they are trying to save. (It is not too hard to work out where this hand came from. How significant a part the hand in a jar plays in future episodes will be interesting to discover.)

One important way that Gwen differs from Rose is that while Rose left her old life behind for her fantastic adventures, Gwen returns each night to her boring boyfriend. For now. How many more lasagnas will she stand?


Sleaze... by Joe Ford 25/12/06

How kind of the producers of this show to get the rubbish out of the way so early. Yes, if you detect a hint of sarcasm in my voice that is because I cannot understand the logic of airing the frankly cluttered and awkward pilot and then this pile of crap on the same night. Were they trying to drive viewers away? Honestly, the only reason I can think of is that they wanted to get this embarrassment out of the way as soon as possible and not let everyone wait a week to be presented with this.

My biggest worry is that this is written by Chris Chibnall, one of the driving thrusts of the show and if this is his take on how it should continue, I am scared for its future. This is even more OTT than the pilot, the script featuring one of those ideas SF knocks about every now and again (and strangely always turns out to be the worst example of the show) of the sex-obsessed alien. Why on Earth the viewers would be presented with such an outlandish and downright-sloppy concept so early in its run defies belief - and the downward spiralling ratings and somewhat mixed feelings about this show's opening night must surely reflect its childishness. This isn't trusting your audience, it's hammering them over the head and screaming "Aha we're not Doctor Who... look what we can do!"

In this episode's attempts to be more adult it winds up being far more childish than any Doctor Who episode in the new series. The shock of seeing a downright-dirty sex scene in the nightclub loo is made even worse by the geezer who is watching it on CCTV and wanking off. Add a scene where a kid tries to seduce a postman; Gwen jumps headfirst into a lesbian snog; and where a rat goes splat with seriously unfunny consequences, and you have a piece of television that leaves a nasty taste in your mouth, like you've gone down on somebody and swallowed. None of this material actually offended me; it just all seemed quite seedy and filthy. Why would you want to freak out your audience so early?

Add to these graphic moments a general lack of relationship between writer and director and this feels very awkward to watch. The general tone of the script is absurd, but the director wants to turn this into some kind of tragedy so you have scenes of the team taking the piss out off all the raunchy sex that is going on rubbing up against scenes of Carys crying in the shower and begging for her ex-shag to love her. Am I supposed to be laughing? Crying? Excited? Aroused? In an episode that tries to hit all these notes, it ends up achieving none of them.

What's more, one of the highlights of the pilot was the strong performances of Eve Myles and John Barrowman but both of them seem as uncomfortable with this script as the audience. Poor Gwen, the script has her walking around acting like an idiot much of the time ("The worst first day ever") and Myles spends most of the episode acting ultra naive when she was mightily assured last week. It seems ridiculous to me that the rest of the team would let her interrogate an alien on her own (and her line, "You can forget about enslaving us" is just embarrassing!) and it's not until two-thirds in that she gets something useful to do, reminding the team that they have been underground too long and have forgotten to be human. Astonishingly, after this week's performances it seems that Barrowman might actually be the weakest performer in the cast; just watch him as he chases Carys through the Hub in the most camp and OTT pursuit scene ever.

I'm not too sure about the morality of a show that can have Gwen kiss Karys and Jack and then go home and shag her boyfriend. Or the arrogance of Torchwood that calls the army "amateurs", says they are the ones that do the "real work" and that treats its new starters with such disrespect. Frankly I'm not sure if this is a likable cast of characters. When Owen said, "I'd come round and shag you", I was ready to write his character off as a nasty piece of work.

Add to all of these faults a general lack of coherence and a conclusion that attempts to be dramatic but winds up being downright hilarious (watch Captain Jack as he camply waves his gun around; smashing open doors in the sperm clinic to find the remains of men who have bee shagged to death and turned into piles of dust) and you have an episode that really doesn't fire me up in any way.

The only really interesting element is the team's lack of knowledge of Jack's past. It is quite sad how he desperately tries to protect the Doctor's hand from being stolen but it proves he has unfinished business with the Time Lord. Oh and the fact that none of the team has partners ("Not in this job" says Tosh).

Oh and the script has some witty lines here and there that are worth a chuckle, if you are in the mood:

On a scale of one to ten this would barely scrape a two; its characters are nasty, the plot is nonsensical and the resolution is laughable. I'm sorry Torchwood but you are going to have try much harder than this.


Look How Adult We Are! by Nathaniel Wayne 13/7/08

After a strong debut episode, Torchwood gets hung up on its own concepts right off the bat with the second episode. The influences of the show are starting to show so strongly it borders on plagarism and the program threatens to get very self indulgent very quickly. On her first actual day with the Torchwood crew, Gwen accidently frees an alien intelligence from a fallen meteorite which naturally goes out and posseses a girl before preceeding to have fatal sex with any man she can get.

Clearly with this episode Torchwood is trying to set itself aside from the more family friendly vibe of Doctor Who. However, they're really overdoing it. Everything about this episode starting with the basic concept just screams "We're so adult! Look what we can do because we're on later! Wheeeeeeeeeee!" There were a few swears and such tossed off in the pilot, but it all was fairly organic whereas here everything (especially the first sex scene) feels gratuitous and is being done simply because they can, not because the there's anything actually requiring it. There's also the issue of the apparent bisexuality of many of these characters. This is thrown in the face of the audience so early (they had it right in the pilot) and so often that I found borderline offensive even though I take absolutely no issue with bisexuality or homosexuality. The big problem is that there's no reason for any of these characters be to switching around genders except for Captain Jack. Jack has an actual reason in terms of his backstory and character to be that way. There's no need for the other characters to be presented like this, other than the simple fact that the producers can get away with it.

Many people have mentioned the very obvious influences on this show but I think this episode shows clearly that they're aping "Angel" more than anything else. It's not enough that they have taken that show's atmosphere, general shooting style (in fact even lifted some shots completely), but now they're stealing the plot ideas too. The second episode of "Angel" dealt with a demon parasite that was trying to find the perfect host and was passed from one body immediately following the act of sex. Sound familiar at all?

Not to put the entire episode down. The character interactions are starting to solidify as the role of each member of the team is being displayed clearly. It's a nice treat how little the other characters know about Captain Jack, though if you know his Doctor Who roots that puts you well ahead of the team and the writing. But the fact that they trust him yet at the same time know so little about him is somewhat reminiscent of the Doctor himself and it brings a nice little touch to the show. Gwen really is also becoming the unifying element of the program and how she handles things in the episode really lays out very well why the team need her so badly. They've become disconnected by the work. They don't have anybody at home, they don't relate to the victims of the aliens they're catching, they're too focused on the job. Gwen is able to help bring the human element back that the team has clearly lost (if they ever had it).

So there's some promising elements present but they're all side items. The main course of this episode just doesn't go down well at all. It's forcefully "adult content" for no good reason and overly derivative of the shows that influenced the producers. It's very early for this show to take such a downturn and I'm hoping to discover that they recover quickly.


A Review by Finn Clark 1/4/10

I'm not keen on the title. It's confusing to call your second episode Day One.

As for the episode itself, I have a confession to make. I like Chris Chibnall. I realise that this is a fringe viewpoint, but right now my favourite episodes of this series are the Chibnall-ocities which the rest of the world seems to look down upon. You see, this show diminishes. Even the supposedly good bits make little impression on the swamp of Torchwood-ness in which they're drowning. Did I enjoy that random episode? I suppose so. Will I remember anything about it afterwards, even when I'm reading an online synopsis to try to remind myself? Not on your nelly.

At least the likes of Countrycide and Cyberwoman have something new to offer the viewer. I'll certainly remember them. They were stupid. I liked that.

Chibnall only wrote four episodes this year, incidentally. He wrote the even-numbered episodes during the first half of the season (#2, #4, #6), while they were working without yet having seen a finished episode and were thus still flailing around. After that, he wrote the finale. That's hardly a reign of evil. Admittedly it is a reign of unintentional camp, idiocy and plot holes, but that's why I like him. If the Torchwood team are crime-fighting hamsters, then he's the hamster showrunner in control of the series.

It's time for our exciting new feature!

HAMSTERS (deliberate) - Gwen, love. I know it's your first day on the job, but even by Torchwood standards it's dumb to throw edged tools at people, crack open an alien spaceship and release a sex-addicted gas monster and thus cause the deaths of about a dozen people. This is played for laughs and at that is blackly successful, but what I particularly love about it is her colleagues' under-reactions. It's like The Sopranos when Tony discovers you choked the wrong man to death with his own severed penis and went on to torture the guy's family. He won't care. Gangsters do stuff like that every day. If Tony started overreacting to little mistakes like that, he'd be dead of heart failure inside six months. Similarly when it comes to cases of alien-related criminal negligence that cause the deaths of countless innocents, Torchwood seem to operate on the principle of "there but for the grace of God go I." No matter how stupid any cock-up might be, someone will have probably done something even worse by this time next week.

I also liked the twist of their catching the gas monster so quickly. On the X-Files, this would mean a dead gas monster. On Torchwood, this means hamster opportunities.

HAMSTERS (unintentional) - So you've caught an alien that disintegrates its sex partners. You've actually seen this happen. You thus take your first opportunity to get alone with this thing, which you use to have a discussion that ends with you indulging your inner lesbian. As it happens, the alien doesn't swing that way, but even so this could be seen as practically a suicide attempt. Nonetheless, when your colleagues find out about this, they seem to regard this as completely normal and don't even seem curious. Later this is explained away with the alien's sex pheremones, but that doesn't change the fact of everyone's previous disinterest.

The alien's sex powers didn't convince me either, now I come to think of it. Admittedly, we've seen her influence the minds of two of the regular cast, but they're members of Torchwood (i.e. morons) and don't count. Once she chooses a man, that's it. He's doomed. She can bring him to orgasm against his will, even if he's gay. Admittedly I can't call this a plot hole since it's a logical extrapolation of what the alien had already been doing elsewhere, but even so it bears no resemblance to anything that we Earthlings like to call "reality". Nudity would have really helped there.

All that said, I do think the episode is slightly more interesting than just another killer sex alien story. It's trying to say something. It begins and ends with Rhys and Gwen, bookending this nasty little tale of emotionless sex with a physical relationship between two people who love each other. In contrast with that, the sex in the main story is repellent. This is not a sexy story. On the contrary, it's a sordid little piece that'll leave you wanting a shower. Notice the way in which the production does everything possible to avoid arousing the viewer. We see unpleasant, ugly couplings between charmless people, not to mention a man masturbating to security camera footage. Meanwhile Sara Lloyd Gregory as Carys looks like a drowned rat. She whines, she snivels and she was born to be a victim. I'm being harsh, yes, but we're talking about a character with slightly less charisma than the idea of being smothered to death with clingfilm. When Gwen's colleagues are surprised at her taking an interest in Carys's fate, we're surprised too. Meanwhile the only nudity is from Burn "ugly git" Gorman, with as usual absolutely no female parts on display despite on-screen sex and a shower scene.

That said, it seems clear that all this has been toned down from what Chibnall had in mind. Twice we see men being aroused by entirely worthless closed-circuit TV footage, suggesting either that porn is desperately poor in the Doctor Who universe or that Chibnall expected those scenes to be showing more skin. I'm thinking of Mathilda May in Lifeforce here. Given the existence of Cyberwoman and Countrycide, I suggest the brazen option. The principle I'm going on is "choose a trashy story hook and then bludgeon to death any lingering hints of subtlety". Had the production team not had an attack of taste and decided to show restraint, the Mighty Chib might have been three for three with a trilogy of unforgettably schlocky high-concept mistakes.

The acting is what you'd expect. Barrowman's worst line is "all the right curves in all the right places." Oi oi oi. He sounds almost embarrassed to be saying it, which is bizarre from Captain Jack. Sara Lloyd Gregory is quite successful at being a repellent whiner, but she's pretty terrible talking into that mobile phone at the beginning. I liked Owen's "rat jam", though.

The episode manages to be funny from time to time. "Watch and learn, boys." Owen's amusing too, while I genuinely like all the stuff about Gwen's first day. Torchwood are such freaks and misfits that there's plenty of entertainment value to be had from a normal and slightly goofy woman's attempts to fit in. I also liked the scene where they all start quizzing Gwen about Jack. However, apart from that, it's a charmless and forgettable story about losers trying to stop another loser from doing something dull and unconvincing. In other words, typical Torchwood. You might remember the episode if some bastard (like me) reminds you, but otherwise it'll sleep in your mind and you'll forget.

I'm sure I'd have been more enthusiastic about the super-sleazo version we'd have got if they'd Chibnalled it up to eleven, but it seems almost as likely that I'd have been the only one. Well, me and hormone-ridden teenage boys who can never get enough pornography.