THE DOCTOR WHO RATINGS GUIDE: BY FANS, FOR FANS

Torchwood
Cyberwoman

Story No. 4 What's in the basement?
Production Code Series One Episode Four
Dates November 5 2006

With John Barrowman, Eve Myles, Burn Gorman, Naoko Mori and Gareth David-Lloyd.
Written by Chris Chibnall Directed by James Strong
Executive Producers: Russell T Davies, Julie Gardner.

Synopsis: There's something in Torchwood's basement and it's going to get out.


Reviews

Welcome to Torchwood by John Nor 2/1/07

With the plot of this episode, the team find that Ianto Jones has hidden away a partially-converted cyberwoman in the basement of the Torchwood Hub, and they have to deal with her: when she attacks!

This basic plot allows light to be shone on the character of Ianto who hitherto has had about one line per episode.

This virtual exclusion from the previous episodes actually feeds into the setup of this episode. There are very effective and subtle scenes at the start. While the rest of the team lark about within the Hub with a basketball and pterodactyl (!), having fun together, a camera lingers on Ianto approaching the group, and he stops as he is screened off by the iron bars surrounding the centre of the hub.

So, Ianto does not feel part of the team. This is great direction as this is explained through these images.

He eventually unlocks the door within the screen of bars, but the team leave, excluding him from their night out on the town. A Japanese man in a business suit arrives, now that Ianto is alone, and is shown to the Cyberwoman hidden in the basement.

Various cinema references came to mind as I watched the scenes that follow: Aliens. (Is the Japanese man some representative of a company that Ianto is selling this technology to? We are misdirected. Ianto is doing this for love we discover.) Metropolis. (As the Art Deco robot lady is brought to life.) Tetsuo: Ironman. (Because the Japanese guy ends up resembling something from that bizarre film. This was actually quite horrific.)

Ianto finds the Japanese man dead at the Cyberwoman's hands, but as he loves her, blames the Cyber technology.

Once the team arrive back at the base and Cyberwoman Lisa is on the rampage the episode reaches a pitch of hysteria which it manages to maintain from this point to the very finish. Jack asks Ianto what the heck is going on and Ianto vents his pent-up resentment at him: "I clean up your shit!" he exclaims then vocalises the isolation that he feels that we saw illustrated at the start of the episode.

Thus the two themes are woven round the base-under-siege plot: Ianto's love for Lisa and Ianto being excluded from the team. (At the end of the episode Ianto is asked to make a choice: the team... or his love?)

Wham-bam, the pace of the story rockets along and the hysteria is maintained. One scene that jars though is where Owen and Gwen are together in a confined space, while at the same time Jack is with an exhausted (and unconscious?) Ianto. We see both Owen and Jack initiate a snog with the one they are with. ("What was that all about?" was my reaction for a long time after, but I have just realised as I write this that there could have been something like the glowing-Time-Vortex-esque reviving kiss we saw in episode Day One, but it is not clear.)

This story as well as illuminating Ianto also allows light to be shone on the character of Jack: is he really a hero? I mentioned in my review of the previous episode Ghost Machine the "Wild West justice" that happens around Torchwood, and the "bad guy" winding up dead.

Jack forcing Ianto to execute Lisa to prove his membership of the team provides some uncomfortable scenes. Her eventual execution by the four others together recalls blood-drenched spaghetti westerns.

For the story that has out of the four episodes so far had the strongest links to its progenitor show Doctor Who (acting as a follow up to Army of Ghosts/Doomsday) it has definitely been the furthest away from Doctor Who in its general tone: disturbing horrific images and by the end, extremely ambiguous "heroes".

Torchwood could actually be a very interesting show if it goes partially down the route of a show like "The Shield". Captain Jack could be another Vince Mackey, with the Torchwood team the Strike Team. Gwen could be Claudette. (If you don't know the show "The Sheild" what I mean is Jack could become a very morally ambiguous character, while Gwen could provide a moral centre and audience sympathies.)

It is such an intense episode. A melodramatic Grand Guignol.


Trash TV by Joe Ford 28/3/07

This is totally brainless, fast-food telly, the script is just an excuse for lots of noisy action and yet there were lots of good individual moments that make trawling through the massive plot holes worth it. There are two big problems with the series as far as I can see that need to be addressed before the show can truly flourish.

The first is its tone. Clearly this is a show that wants to be adult but it seems to be under the impression that adult means gore, sex and swear words rather than intelligent scripting and thoughtful characterisation. Now I love gore, fucks and bonking but they need to be integral to the plot rather than superfluous. Astonishingly, considering the subject matter of this piece all three of these are more than acceptable. What I don't get is why an episode the purports to deal with the nastier side of the Cybermen should be represented by such a ridiculous looking spokesperson for the species! The Cyberwoman of the title is so absurd looking I was chuckling every time she appeared on screen... not very effective when she is supposed to stalking the Torchwood crew through the Hub! Why include those stupid looking Cyber handles? And Cyber breasts? Who thought they would be a good idea? It all ties up with the awkwardness of the first couple of episodes (and yet dismissed last week oddly enough) in that the producers don't seem to quite get the different departments working on the show in sync. The result is an okay episode rather than a good one.

And secondly I have to comment on the ability of the scriptwriters, which, aside from Helen Raynor's superb effort last week, have been almost universally awful. What annoys me especially about Cyberwoman is that some individual dialogue scenes are pretty damn good (Jack sums up the Cybermen beautifully when he says: "Small decisions that become mass slaughter. These creatures regain a foothold by exploiting human weakness.") but the overall plot is so stupid and (worse) laughable that it is impossible to believe in what you are watching. There are so many questions that stacked up when you give this episode's events half a thought. How on Earth did Ianto manage to move the Cyber-conversion unit from London to Cardiff? How did he manage to keep it a secret from the team all this time? Why did he hide her away there instead of some warehouse well out of the way of his xenophobic teammates? Why does Gwen bother telling the Cyberwoman not to come any closer when they are already within breathing distance? How did Lisa manage to transplant her brain into someone else's head in less than five minutes to a point where she can coherently remember her old life with Ianto? Why don't the team boot Ianto out on the street for putting them all in danger? I sat there for the majority of the episode shaking my head in disbelief wondering just where the script editor was.

It's frustrating, because much of the production is glossy and thrilling. The lighting in particular is gorgeous, offering up atmosphere in spades as the characters are hunted through the different areas of the Hub. The music too is very appropriate, a mega-cool rock score with heavy electric guitar blaring during the more exciting moments giving the episode a loud, distinctive feel.

Gareth David-Lloyd works wonders with a script that allows him emote like crazy after three extremely subdued weeks of doing sod all. After Burn Gorman's star turn last week I am starting to see exactly why this cast was chosen. Whilst we hardly delved deeply in to Ianto's past it is great to see his obscurity being addressed ("I clear up your shit. When did you last ask me anything about my life?"). Naoko Mori is the only one who hasn't had the chance to explore her character in any depth but I quite like her anyway because she throws herself into the part with gusto, despite being sidelined.

I would like to point out there are a number of expertly staged set pieces that give the episode some real presence. Gwen's turn on the Cyber conversion table is truly pulse-racing and fantastically scary, Eve Myles makes you believe she is going to die horribly. I have always said the body horror aspect of the Cybermen should be exploited more often and the sight of Ianto crying, dragging the bloody remains of a partially converted scientist through the tunnels underneath is directed with clinical cruelty that made me wince. And Jack's plan to rid them of Lisa for good is ruthless and nasty and utilises a (so far) unexplained plot device that the show has been pedalling since episode one (and frankly deserves Ianto's cry of "Have some fucking mercy!").

There is dirtiness to this show that I am starting to like when it comes to its sexual politics. Science fiction shows are far too prudish when it comes to sexuality (Star Trek, the so-called liberal show couldn't even be arsed to have a gay character) but Torchwood seems proud to exploit its naughtiness with some pride. I wasn't sure in the first two episodes about the morality of having Gwen promoting her secure relationship and snogging a woman and kissing Jack but it just goes to show how fickle I am. Gwen and Owen getting it on in the mortuary ("I was on top of you Owen, I could feel your hardon") and Jack and Ianto (phew!) lip locking got me rather hot under the collar!

Other points of interest:

This episode is basically lots of running around, gore and kinkiness. It lacks even basic logic but it has a certain exciting trashiness that makes it quite engaging. The efforts of the director and actors actively fight the daftness of the script.


A Review by Finn Clark 27/4/10

I don't think Cyberwoman is predominantly Chibnall's fault. Obviously, his script was never going to give us another War and Peace, but it's a straightforward runaround with a strong central idea. It has its Chibnallisms, but they're not the real problem.

No, what we're looking at here is a production failure. Compare it with what Universal studios might have done in the 1930s, for instance. Imagine a gothic mausoleum of a Torchwood Hub, below which could be a black-and-white dungeon version of the Cyber conversion unit. Flaming torches. Stone floors. Sounds good already, doesn't it? I'm almost salivating at the thought of it. Even the synchronised kissing scene could have been made to work with a bit of silent-movie era flamboyance and a sweeping orchestral soundtrack. Lon Chaney Jr. obviously has to play Ianto, although I can't think of an obvious Lisa. Captain Jack can be Bela Lugosi, on the strength of his having been a matinee idol in his native Hungary. Gwen can be Evelyn Ankers. Finally, I hate to lose Burn Gorman's Owen, but I'll go for Dwight Frye on the strength of his 1931 Renfield.

Damn, that would have been awesome. Unfortunately as it is, we have the following drag factors:

  1. Gareth David-Lloyd. Of all the mistakes in this episode, this might be the biggest. He's playing it all wrong, making Ianto look weepy, whiny and stupid. Hell, imagine this episode if given to Burn Gorman. Ianto betrays his friends and goes through hell in this episode. He could have torn our hearts out, but in the end we just look at him in his unimaginable despair and think "what a twat".

  2. The Cyberwoman. She's as bad as Ianto, but at least here we have contributory factors. She's playing someone whose emotions were torn out, which I'd like to be able to believe is the reason why she hardly ever plays any emotion. Another drag factor is the Cybereffect on her voice, toggling her from "human" to "killing machine" and killing any layers Caroline Chikezie might have been trying to put into her performance. Couldn't they have shaded it in gradually? Kept her human for longer, but with sinister undertones? The scene where she tries to convert Dr Tanizaki, for instance, could have been far more effective and disturbing if that had still basically been the real Lisa, but with an unusual viewpoint on things.

    Then there's the costume. It doesn't work. It's as silly and plastic as all the rest of these Tennant-era alt-universe Cybermen, which incidentally look much better in real life than they do on screen. She's neither scary, disturbing nor sexy. There are a couple of moments when they manage to make her slightly menacing, but that's achieved by keeping her offscreen. She's the engine of the episode and she's a failure.

  3. I can't pretend that Chibnall isn't a problem. The kissing scene is the most hilariously risible, but at least that's better than all those tiresome people pointing guns at each other. "I really will shoot you." I wish you would, mate. Worse yet, a lot of these scenes are given to Barrowman, who's really not coming across well this week. This episode would have been so much better if someone had hidden all of Torchwood's guns and left them instead with a selection of children's glove puppets.

    However, that said, the Chibnallisms do make this episode amusing. Once you've accepted that this Ianto's a comedy character, you might find yourself enjoying a few laughs. I particularly liked him dragging bloody corpses around the basement while also pretending that nothing was wrong on the phone to Jack.

I still find a lot to like even in the broadcast episode, though. I like the idea of the story and in particular its final twist. Eww, gross. That was a good bit, or at least it was looking that way until Ianto and Lisa started talking. I like the iconography of the Cyberwoman, which has its moments even if in overall it doesn't work. I like the Cyber conversion unit, which somehow puts me in mind of that hypothetical 1930s Universal version I was talking about. I think it's the strobe lighting. That's a big part of the kitsch value which the episode has somehow stumbled upon in lieu of being actually good. Another example of that would be Cyberwoman vs. pterodactyl. It looks laughable, but personally I think it's cool in an Edgar Rice Burroughs way.

One of this show's oddities is the way they hardly ever have Doctor Who aliens. Instead they have Torchwood aliens. A Doctor Who alien will come down from space, kick your arse and try to blow up the world. A Torchwood alien will wibble about pointlessly for 45 minutes, killing random people to pass the time but never really seeming to be working to a plan. Captain Jack and his gang can't even handle Torchwood aliens, so it's amusing to see how completely outclassed they are by a Doctor Who one. They should turn to rescuing cats from trees and helping old ladies across the road, although even that might have a body count by the time they were finished.

At the end of the day, it's memorable. You can't take that away from it. Even when your memories of the rest of Torchwood have rotted into mush, at least you'll remember Cyberwoman. It's got a strong high concept. However, it's also a production disaster so bad that I almost wish we'd got the version of this show that was clearly in Chris Chibnall's head when he was writing these episodes. You know, the sleazy version. Day One needed to be full of nudity and Cyberwoman needed to be sexy instead of timid. They've got the gore factor about right, but that's it.

Because I'm strange, I like Cyberwoman. I like outrageous kitsch that makes me laugh. However, you'd have to be deaf and blind not to see the yawning chasm between the actual episode and what it should have been.