Should those folks at Big Finish ever wish to start up their own little series of Iris Wildthyme adventures (variations on the meddlesome hussy to be played by Katy Manning, Janet Fielding, Julie Walters, Lynda Baron and Joanna Lumley):
Top 40 Doctor Who Stories by Richard Radcliffe 19/11/03
In this anniversary year, there are surveys galore to be filled in. DWM have the results of one as their special tribute to Who, for example. 40 is the number then - and here's my list of the 40 best stories, in any medium, I have come across in my journeyings through the exciting, imaginative and entertaining worlds of Doctor Who:
40 Genesis of the Daleks Nation TV4 Never been my absolute favourite, but definitely great.
39 The Crusade Whitaker TV1 The best kind of Historical. Informative and challenging.
38 The Daemons Letts TV3 Cosy, family UNIT at its most together.
37 The Burning Richards BK8 A new exciting direction for the 8th Doctor.
36 The Curse of Fenric Briggs TV7 Full of great ideas and superb mythology.
35 Loups-Garoux Platt AUD5 Brilliant performances, fabulous script.
34 Doctor Who and the Pirates Rayner AUD6 Emotional, hugely entertaining Who.
33 Memorial Gray STR7 One off thoughtful story, stacks of meaning.
32 The Voyager Parkhouse STR6 Fantasy Who at its best, best artwork ever.
31 The Horror of Fang Rock Dicks TV4 Inspired Lighthouse setting, claustrophobic.
30 Wolfsbane Rayner BK4&8 Brilliantly using the 8th Dr stuck on Earth. Harry great.
29 The Seeds of Doom Stewart TV4 Excellent 2 parter, very good 4 parter back home.
28 Fellow Travellers Cartmel STR7 Horror Who, great artwork, great story.
27 Human Nature Cornell BK7 Story of the human Doctor, charming.
26 The Two Doctors Holmes TV2&6 Magnificent opening episode, loved the Spanish locale.
25 The English Way of Death Roberts BK4 Lovely to read, went down as smooth as a Galaxy Bar.
24 The Fires of Vulcan Lyons AUD7 Clever time hopping using fascinating history.
23 The Cabinet of Light O'Mahony NOV? Intro of Time Hunter, very Doctorish character.
22 The City of Death Adams TV4 Tom Baker at his most hilarious!
21 The Sands of Time Richards BK5 The best kind of sequel, different Dr, same wonder.
20 Father Time Parkin BK8 Best book from the best story arc DW has ever done.
19 Camera Obscura Rose BK8 Wonderfully Whoish book from best current book writer.
18 Who Killed Kennedy Bishop BK? The best DW spin-off product anyone has come up with.
17 Timewyrm: Exodus Dicks BK7 The best alternative history story, from a great writer.
16 The City of the Dead Rose BK8 A setting has never been a better character than here.
15 Stars Fell On Stockbridge Parkhouse STR5 Quaint, homely, cosy Doctor Who.
14 The Five Doctors Dicks TV12345 A brilliant celebration!
13 The Web of Fear Haisman/Lincoln TV2 Atmospheric and scary, the best isolated base story.
12 Grave Matter Richards BK6 Exceptional Hammer Who Novel.
11 The Caves of Androzani Holmes TV5 Explosive end to a great Doctor.
10 The Adventuress of Henrietta Street Miles BK8 Intro of the brilliant Sabbath, fascinating style of writing.
9 Phantasmagoria Gatiss AUD5 This convinced me Big Finish would be the best Who.
8 Matrix Tucker/Perry BK7 Dark, moody, riveting Who in its best setting.
7 The Spectre of Lanyon Moor Pegg AUD6 Traditional Who at it's best, with Brigadier never better.
6 The Talons of Weng-Chiang Holmes TV4 Plundering the Victorian archives brilliantly.
5 Ghost Light Platt TV7 The best looking, most atmospheric Who production.
4 The Banquo Legacy Richards/Lane BK8 Page turning, spine chillingly brilliant.
3 The Pyramids of Mars Holmes TV4 The perfect grafting of existing myths with Who.
2 Nightshade Gatiss BK7 Nostalgic Who at its best.
1 The Chimes of Midnight Shearman AUD8 The best reason why audio Who is the best Who.
Ten Who-Related Things I Want to Scream at the Mainstream Media by Rob Matthews 28/11/03
What with the fortieth anniversary and the commisioning of a new series, Doctor Who's been in the news a bit lately. Here are ten misconceptions I'd love to clear up before I come out in a rash:
Forty years, Forty great stories by Terrence Keenan 14/12/03
Since top 40 lists are in vogue to cash in on the anniversary hype, I might as well jump in with my own version. There are no audios, nor comics in this list, mainly because I haven't explored these formats in depth.
These, for your humble critic, are the ones that are the equivalent of massaging Catherine Zeta Jones's feet while listening to John Coltrane's A Love Supreme on the deck of your beach house in Malibu at sunset. This is as of today, and does not reflect opinions held yesterday or tomorrow.
40. The Aztecs -- there's so many great things in regards to both the story and the performances that it makes you want to watch it over and over again.
39. History 101 -- One of the best debut novels ever, courtesy of Mags L. Halliday. It not only manages to captures the chaos of the Spanish civil war, but also manages to be a great Who story as well.
38. The English Way of Death -- This is the best of the Gareth Roberts Season 17 novels. Equal parts bedroom farce and horror story, EWoD will have you howling in laughter and shuddering in fear at the same time, an amazing feat.
37. Carnival of Monsters -- The best 3rd Doctor/Jo Grant story, written by Robert Holmes. The 3rd Doctor is mellowed and given a much needed sense of humor, while Jo is allowed to be an adult. Add in a couple of double acts (Vorg & Shirna; the Inter-Minoran tribunal) and a strong story and you can't go wrong.
36. The Left Handed Hummingbird -- Another strong debut, this time by Kate Orman. Even a minor misstep (John Lennon's assassination bit), can't wreck a genuinely nerve-wracking and suspenseful novel.
35. The War Games -- The big epic of Serial Who. I can't think of a more awesome moment than the end of episode 9 when the Time Lords make their presence known.
34. Doctor Who and the Silurians -- Is there a darker ending than the Brigadier blowing up the caves? Nope. Toss in a great script, a boatload of brill performances, and some realistic plague scenes and you have a story that holds up well over thirty years later.
33. The Scarlet Empress -- I chose this over the just as worthy Blue Angel because it was the first attempt to really shatter the sci-fi/pulp storytelling trappings that come with every Who novel. Paul Magrs deserves much credit for showing a completely new way of writing a Who story.
32. Transit -- A gleeful, adult, stomping and retreading of the future Who story. Inaccessible and nasty, it defies most readers to read Ben Aaronovitch's masterwork and come along for the ride. Sadly maligned, almost anyone who has written an original Who novel pays its respects to Transit in some fashion.
31. The Ribos Operation -- Possibly the best season opener ever. It takes chutzpah to open a season of stories about a device to save the universe with a tale about a con job. Toss in one helluva debut -- the gorgeous Mary Tamm -- and a stellar cast, stir until hot. The first real example of what the Graham Williams era was all about.
30. The Greatest Show in the Galaxy -- GSitG defies logic, plays by its own rules, owns a distinctive look and is rewarded by a cast running with a strong script. By far both Sylvester McCoy's and Sophie Aldred's shining moment.
29. The Caves of Androzani -- Only Robert Holmes could have possibly taken one of his weaker efforts (The Power of Kroll) and turned into a going away present for Peter Davison. Davison's tour-de-force performance in his last Who serial still causes my jaw to drop with each viewing. There are flaws, but they don't matter all that much, as the emotional impact is what you leave with.
28. Set Piece -- Kate Orman's genuine masterpiece. The only great book Ace story. Set Piece is greater than the sum of its parts. That it also manages to rework negligible book line concepts into something worth caring about is something special.
27. The Banquo Legacy -- Whenever you can scare the pants off a Who reader with a mentally unbalanced woman and one killer corpse, the authors are creating something special. That The Banquo Legacy was a last minute commission from a very old Andy Lane/Justin Richards non-Who story idea is remarkable.
26. Festival of Death -- A laugh riot. A mindfucking, convoluted plot with more twists than Lombard Street. A TARDIS team captured to perfection. Jonathan Morris deserves much praise for this unputdownable, fun, gotta-read-more-than-once book.
25. Revelation of the Daleks -- Eric Saward's weird combination of body horror, macho mercenary send-up and homage to Evelyn Waugh's The Loved One shouldn't work at all, but dammit it does! The best of the Molloy/Davros stories. Colin Baker's best Who serial as well.
24. Genesis of the Daleks -- The Doctor's most famous enemies get a much needed reboot in a tale that's more interested in the creator of the Daleks and portraying the horrors of war while making excellent moral arguments about the nature of the future and scientific experimentation.
23. The Androids of Tara -- If you think of Tara as a silly runaround, then you're missing the point. The stakes are small, the wit sharp, the performances excellent and the script a corker.
22. Christmas on a Rational Planet -- Lawrence Miles's debut is weird enough to make Ghost Light come off as a normal runaround, funny enough to force you to put down the book in order to finish your howling, filled with enough ideas to cause wild debate and entertaining enough to make you want to finish in one day, then re-read it the next.
21. Inferno -- From the sublime Season 7, Inferno gives the Who viewer parallel universes, the end of the world, brill performances and a new philosophical concept for the show -- the free will is not an illusion scene. If The Silurians is the dark point, then Inferno shows hope spring eternal.
20. The Ark in Space -- a majestic story that ushers in the real beginning of the Tom Baker era. Holmes gives his most optimistic view of humanity as the colonists of the Ark throw off their insect-like compartmentalization in order to resist a very powerful enemy.
19. Down -- Any book that ends with the villain having his own laser gun shoved up his ass to defeat his plan for reshaping the universe gets my vote for a great story, hands down. Somehow, Mad Larry Miles makes the weird seem normal. That he also gives us the best characterization of one Bernice Summerfield is icing on the cake.
18. The Burning -- Getting the privilege of recreating the Doctor in your own image is rare. Justin Richards took the opportunity and ended up writing his best novel ever. By eschewing his normal convoluted plot twists and instead focusing on what makes a great Who tale -- strong story and interesting characters -- Richards restates what makes Who so special in under 300 pages.
17. The Face of Evil -- memorable for being the first story that showed the after effects of the Doctor's intervention, The Face of Evil shows that a strong story and excellent performances can make a studio runaround into something transcendent.
16. The Dying Days -- An audacious, rollicking adventure that borrows from Independence Day, The Dying Days takes the Doctor Who Virgin books out with style. Although the plot is familiar, Lance Parkin's sheer bravura gives everything a fresh feel.
15. Managra -- A no-brainer choice for the best ever Missing Adventure. Stephen Marley manages to capture the Doctor and Sarah from their era, but also expand their characters in fresh, exciting ways. The story itself is filled with sharp dialogue and stunning imagery.
14. Snakedance -- At one point, this was a bottom ten choice for me. However, Snakedance has become my choice for the best serial of Season 20. A worthy sequel to Kinda, Snakedance reworks its predecessor in a more conventional Who format, and is blessed by a whole series of great performances.
13. Warriors' Gate -- A very complex story about choice. A visually interesting serial, combined with a strong script and a cast equal to the task. It end with one of the most fond farewells ever, as Romana goes to be her own Doctor and take on her own causes.
12. The Adventuress of Henrietta Street -- Without a doubt, the most complex and dense of Who novels. A history about events during the birth of the industrial revolution and a new age of reason, Mad Larry Miles manages to make a "non-fiction" tale take on mysterious and suspenseful elements with ease and grace.
11. Spearhead from Space -- the most conventional of the Season 7 stories. Spearhead benefits from another great Robert Holmes tale and a cast who understand the script. It's a story that retreads familiar ground, yet always feels fresh, because the cast plays it straight.
10. Horror of Fang Rock -- Uncle Terrance Dicks's masterpiece. With nods to the base under siege story and The Thing from Another World, Fang Rock mixes horror, sci-fi and commentary on the Victorian class system. It also features Louise Jameson's best performance as Leela.
09. The Talons of Weng Chiang -- The culmination of 3 brilliant years for the Hinchcliffe/Holmes/Baker trio. An atmospheric tale of horror, set in Jack the Ripper's London, with nods to Fu Manchu and Sherlock Holmes.
08. The Robots of Death -- Take some interesting design concepts for robots, mix with a top cast, a stellar script that's really a variation on the Zombie story, and some interesting psychological insight, and you have a serial to savor.
07. Dead Romance -- Y'know, if there is one book that's come out that could claim to stand alone, this one would be it. It's neck deep in continuity, but presented in such a way as to not matter to the non-hard-core fan. It's full of Mad Larry's personal agendas, but they wouldn't matter if you didn't get the reference. Dead Romance is just a great novel, full stop.
06. Kinda -- Kinda succeeds by not being a typical Who serial, yet retains what made Who great: strong story with interesting characters. Kinda manages to weave religious imagery and the recurring theme of boxes, with common nightmares made real. Kinda fits Davison's Doctor to a T.
05. The Deadly Assassin -- THE benchmark serial for all modern Who, full stop. You can feel its stamp on any serial that mentions the Time Lords and a good chunk of both the Virgin and BBC book mythology. It's also the forerunner of the more adult McCoy serials of Season 25 and 26, the more violent stories of Seasons 21 & 22, and still manges to say more about why the Doctor left Gallifrey without ever coming up with a backstory.
04. Interference -- A Godzilla-sized story that manages to be social commentary, dark comedy, a political diatribe, a writer's manifesto and a grand tragedy all at once. Arguably the first true Post-Modern Who tale. Loz Miles's deconstruction of the Doctor and of Who continuity is really done in the name of telling a great story, more than anything else.
03. The Seeds of Doom -- Far more violent than your average Who serial, The Seeds of Doom pushes against a lot of general rules for Who and for the character of the Doctor as to what he can or can't do. The characters are archetypes of sci-fi/horror/adventure stories, but played with such conviction that they feel fresh. Tom Baker gives his best performance as the Doctor, weaving a whole boatload of characteristics into a cohesive whole.
02. City of Death -- It doesn't get much better than this. The one serial that deserves to stand alone outside of DW. A story that fires on all levels with such perfection that it crushes all competition as to what is the best ever Who serial. Funny, tightly plotted, brilliantly performed. For a while, this serial topped a few lists of Greatest Who stories. And a certain segment of fans flipped out, because City of Death isn't an "important" story, like The Deadly Assassin, Genesis of the Daleks, The War Games, The Caves of Androzani or Curse of Fenric. I'm not too sure if this was due to anti-Williams backlash, or because hard-core Anoraks hated that a comedy topped any Who related list. Though it seems that whenever I want to show a Who story to non fans to show what makes this thing of ours so special, they always get it after watching City of Death. Makes you think, doesn't it?
01. Alien Bodies -- It is the best Who story in any format, bar none. It deals with the Doctor's death, the Doctor's legacy and his place in the universe. With nods to Robert Holmes, Lawrence Miles manages to forever make his mark in the Whoniverse with a tale that affected all continuity going forward, yet manages to be a stand alone story, like its spiritual cousin, The Deadly Assassin.
Forty Years, Forty Awful Stories by Terrence Keenan 16/12/03
If the 40 greatest stories are the equivalent of giving Catherine Zeta Jones a foot massage while listening to John Coltrane's A Love Supreme on the deck of a beach house in Malibu at sunset, then the following stories (book and TV only, since I haven't explored audios and comics, natch.) are the equivalent of being stripped naked, covered in dog food and thrown into pits of rabid miniature poodles. Again, this reflects today's opinion and is and may not be true yesterday or tomorrow.
40. Placebo Effect -- stories can be badly written fanwank festivals, but should never be boring. Good for insomniacs only.
39. The Mark of the Rani -- There are a few good ideas here, but the dialogue leaves a lot to be desired. And was the Master really needed in this story?
38. EarthWorld -- If Jac Rayner never wrote another novel, it would be too soon. Somehow it manages to be both too silly and not silly enough.
37. Lucifer Rising -- a how-to manual on how not to cowrite a book and what not to do in a debut novel. All the characters are so bad, you can't even work up a good hate on them. Toss in idiotic plot elements and everything is there to ensure failure.
36. Falls the Shadow -- a confusing, sub Big Steve King plot. Atrocious villains, bad characters and New Ace make this a must-avoid book.
35. Time and the Rani -- Although I do admit to having a soft spot for this one, it goes wrong on so many levels it boggles the mind.
34. Planet of the Daleks -- a redo of The Daleks that manages to go south in a hurry. Pertwee's worst performance as the Doctor.
33. The Curse of Peladon -- Who goes Star Trek, and gets really boring.
32. Arc of Infinity -- When Peter Davison can't save a story with his performance, you know things are pretty dire. Arc fails the laugh test the moment Damon says "Nyssa of Traken."
31. Conundrum -- a smarmy, self indulgent self-aware story that feels like an author showing off more than anything else.
30. Seeing I -- Kate Orman and Jon Blum rip off Set Piece and forget what made that book so special in the first place, deciding to make their own political and personal agenda more important than telling a good story.
29. Verdigris -- see my rationale for Conundrum.
28. Timelash -- The cheap one of season 22, and it shows. It has at least two endings and far more hammy acting performances.
27. The Crystal Bucephalus -- A Craig Hinton fanwank convention. An incomprehensible storyline with one of the most obvious plot twists ever seen.
26. The City of the Dead -- Lloyd Rose's debut has a lot going for it. Unfortunately, it goes off the rails in terms of unnecessary Doctor torture, indulgences in "magic" and lame portrayals of female characters.
25. The Monster of Peladon -- It's the only story I can't finish watching. In fact I can't get past part two without laughing at it, or being incredibly bored out of my skull.
24. The Twin Dilemma -- easily the most entertaining of the bad serials. It manages to go completely off the rails due to Colin Baker's OTT performance. It barely has enough story for two episodes, let alone four. And there are the twins... (Places gun to temple, pulls trigger).
23. Walking to Babylon -- The only redeeming quality of this book was that it got Lawrence Miles so angry, he wrote Dead Romance. When an author tries to rewrite all of history to support a personal agenda, they should have their word processors taken away.
22. Colony in Space -- The most boring Pertwee Serial. Even Mac Hulke slipped up now and then too.
21. Silver Nemesis -- If everyone in front of and behind the camera were on drugs, then they all need to be shipped off to rehab. If they weren't, then massive drug intake might have helped.
20. The Eight Doctors -- a regretful addition to the list, as Uncle Terrance Dicks's book does play to my Target book-reading inner Anorak. It's just that... well... I think he was blasted on Gin when he wrote it.
19. Human Nature -- Although very popular, Human Nature earns it's placement due to having bad villains that could have been so much better with little effort, as well as a stupid, feel-good epilogue that ruins the proper ending to the novel.
18. Unnatural History -- The OrmanBlum borrow from a multitude of sources for their story and manage to turn a book into a manifesto of what they think Who continuity should be while rendering the borrowed ideas mundane.
17. Dying in the Sun -- Not everyone can write a Doctor Who book. Jon De Burgh Miller proves this.
16. Delta and the Bannermen -- I'll forgive the lack of internal story logic. I'll forgive the Echo and the Bunnymen reference in the title. I'll forgive the patronizing attitude to the Welsh. But, I can't forgive the bad acting or Ken Dodd.
15. Time-Flight -- Sometimes, even a decent Peter Davison performance can't save a story. Anthony Ainley should be shot for his performance.
14. The Ancestor Cell -- There are times when ignoring continuity is a smart idea. Not with TAC. Faction Paradox are reduced to Ant Ainley Master clones and the big finale is a big dud, instead.
13. The Quantum Archangel -- Well, Craig Hinton said he wanted to write the ultimate in fanwank, and succeeded. The big question is... why? For the love of humanity why?!?!?!?!?!?!?
12. The Time Monster -- Another serial that falls under the label of "stories that suck that I have a soft spot for." It goes spectacularly wrong, in so many ways, but I still find compelling enough to watch.
11. The Shadows of Avalon -- I'll let the unnecessary continuity go. I'll also let the fluctuating book style go (character piece or action runaround). But, I can't forgive the banalization of Romana, nor another pair of vile villains, Cavis and Gandar.
10. The King's Demons -- The sad truth is that all of the Ant Ainley Master stories after Castrovalva pretty much suck, except for Planet of Fire and Survival. The King's Demons is no exception.
09. Divided Loyalties -- The book equivalent of Plan 9 From Outer Space. A Mount Everest of fanwank. A classic unintentional comedy from Gary Russell.
08. Battlefield -- A classic example of an overindulgent writer combining with a clueless, underfunded production team and a cast who doesn't seem to care whether or not they'll look like asses on the screen.
07. Terminus -- A story that with each viewing make me want to pound nails into the floor with my forehead. The script is all right, but the actors don't care and the production is lame.
06. The Daemons -- Possibly the most overrated Who story of all time. I love Olive Hawthorne and Professor Horner, but the rest is so painful.... It's like giving myself an appendectomy with rusty tweezers and a mellon baller.
05. Enlightenment -- The bottom of the barrel of a very poor season. Davison is all right, but the rest of the cast come off as the house hams at the local theatre company. Toss in a script that is pretty dire, and I end up spending 100 minutes cringing in shame.
04. Head Games -- Winner of the most spiteful Who book ever. Its self indulgence and self awareness aren't even the worst of it. The worst is a whole herd of TARDIS regulars that you'd love to see beaten with blunt instruments then spend a single page reading about.
03. The Three Doctors -- Even though I do enjoy watching this serial, it really is rubbish. Katy Manning's worst performance ever. Nick Courtney's worst performance ever. Bob Baker and Dave Marti's worst script ever. Ugh.
02. No Future -- Fanwank is one thing. Fanwank elevated to pretentious levels is quite another thing. Paul Cornell had no real understanding of the punk movement, since he makes them hippies with bad haircuts. But the low points, on top of an incomprehensible storyline, are the Doctor and New Ace. There's just no excuse for them. They manage to make Cavis and Gandar tolerable, a prodigious feat. Use this book to replace the missing leg on your couch, instead of wasting time reading it.
01. The Curse of Fenric -- Every time I watch Fenric, it angers me. To me, it goes in so many wrong directions, that all associated in the making of this serial should be covered in honey and staked naked over anthills. The sad truth is that there is the potential to make this a great serial -- better acting, some rewrites. Alas, all that is left is, in my humble opinion a fiasco that champions everything that makes a bad Who story.
Top Nine Seasons by Terrence Keenan 19/12/03
09. Season One
Why: It set up most of the basic premises of Who, including
the Doctor, the companions, the TARDIS, the Daleks, the historical
adventure, etc...
08. Season Twenty-five
Why: It has McCoy's best serial ever (Greatest
Show) a fun action romp (Remembrance) and a noble
failure with a strong allegory (The Happiness
Patrol). And even though Silver Nemesis is complete bollocks, there
are some interesting ideas in the mix of that serial as well.
07. Season Six
Why: The TARDIS team is one of the strongest in any era of the show.
The three top stories (The Invasion, The Mind Robber, The War Games)
all show how diverse Who can be in the types of stories told and
still bloody work. That Patrick Troughton got one helluva send off.
06. Season Seventeen
Why: It's filled with big ideas, big dreams, tons of humor. That it
has the single greatest, deserves-to-stand-alone-serial in Who (City of Death). That it has the second greatest TARDIS
tag team ever in Big Tommy B and Lady Sarah Ward. That all the serials are
magnificently, squarely entertaining.
05. Season Thirteen
Why: It's the running, jumping, hauling ass season. That within all
the the atmospheric B-Movie settings, you get the witness of the best ever
TARDIS duo in Tom Baker and Lis Sladen. That it contains two absolute
standouts in The Seeds of Doom and Pyramids of Mars.
04. Season Sixteen
Why: The Gorgeous Mary Tamm. Brill Chemistry between Big Tommy B and
the Gorgeous Mary Tamm. That is a season about the fate of the universe,
gods and superpowerful keys, the stakes in four of the stories are quite
small. The Ribos Operation -- Best Season opener
ever. And did I mention the Gorgeous Mary Tamm?
03. Season Twenty-one
Why: The character arc for the Doctor is stunning in its concept and
execution, rising above some iffy serials and one horrid one. That Peter
Davison gives the best Doctor performance ever in Caves
of Androzani. That the whole oppressive tone of the character arc is
redeemed by "I'm not going to let you stop me now!" And, mostly, that it
proves Peter Davison was a great choice to play the Doctor after all.
02. Season Seven
Why: 4 very strong serials. Strong themes dealing with race, humans
being their own worst enemy, and free will. It is the benchmark for
contemporary Who stories. Caroline John as Mighty Liz Shaw, queen
of the miniskirt. Jon Pertwee shows how good he could be in the title
role.
01. Season Fourteen
Why: No weak serials. A season that gets stronger as it goes along. A
Production team in concert with its Doctor. The benchmark Who
serial which affected everything afterward (The Deadly
Assassin). Big Tommy B. Lis Sladen. Weezie Jameson. And a thousand
other reasons in evidence when you watch Masque, Hand, Assassin, Evil, Robots & Talons in sequence.
Top Ten Screams by Joe Ford 22/12/03
Oh come on somebody had to do it! The diversity, the monsters, the bosoms... all vital ingredients of Doctor Who but the one thing all respectable fans ignore is the screams, as Matt Jones pointed out in Doctor Who Magazine if the companions aren't scared (and screaming) how do we know when to be afraid? Here for your amusement are the all time best screams the show has ever presented, specially presented in surround sound...
10) "AHHHHHHH!" Grifiths, Attack of the Cybermen
It took an actor of Brian Glover's calibre to bring one of the finest male screams to Doctor Who. Trapped in a dark, dank sewer and confronted with giant metal monsters he turns to the camera and lets out a belter that reverberates through the tunnels long after he has left the screen. It is when this supposed 'hard nut' wets his pants and screams that you realise there really is something scary about the Cybermen...
9) "AHHRRRRRR!" Nyssa, Snakedance
Yes it's that much maligned cliff-hanger where innocent daughter of Traken, that guy from Bread and Pops from At Home with the Braithwaites are confronted by that burping fool from Men Behaving Badly who orders their immediate execution! Shock horror, Sarah Sutton finally lets rip with her lungs and provides an already camp, melodramatic moment with even more staginess. Brilliant stuff.
7) "AHH OH HELP! AHHH! OH AHH!" Jo, Day of the Daleks
Oh this is just awful, Jo was by far the worst screamer in the history of the series, she could never quite make it sound authentic but this diabolical moment of hysteria deserves a place on this list just for the inclusion of 'companion pretends to be in pain to escape from baddies' routine. Katy Manning hams it up big time, grasping her hair and stealing the limelight from frilly Jon Pertwee in her twee, Doris Day inspired costume!
6) "YEEEAAAHH!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAA OO OO!" Peri/Sharaz Jek, The Caves of Androzani
Frankly it is one of the most startling moments in Doctor Who's entire run and is made all the more dramatic for the ear piercing screams. Sharaz Jek has his mask ripped away to reveal his hideous, disfigured face... he defeats Chellak and rushes to Peri and tells her "Nothing will hurt you now"... as he tries to show her his face she recoils in utter horror (with a rip roaring scream) and he cowers across the set and under a table and screams/weeps for pity. Revealing and dramatic and proof of how far the show could go, this really is adult stuff.
5) "AEEEAEEEAEEEAEEE!" Victoria, Fury from the Deep
The most famous screamer in the entire series, Victoria could barely walk around a corner without producing a glass shattering sound (admittedly there were usually hairy monsters around them so, fair enough). But this was a truly inspired use of the girl in her exit story and another chance to see Doctor Who breaking down the fourth wall and acknowledging its faults. The scream is used to save the day! A creature allergic to sound gets quite an earful when the Doctor records one of Victoria's lung busters and plays it over and over and over... it is far, far scarier than any monster sound effect in the show.
4) "AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!" Mel, Terror of the Vervoids, The Ultimate Foe, Time and the Rani, Delta and the Bannermen, Dragonfire
Whether she was singing "Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat!" or threatening to "scweam and scweam!" in Dick Wittington Bonnie Langford's incredible voice kept her in work for years and years. Fortunate then that JNT noticed her dulcet tones and consider her perfect material for a Doctor Who companion. A man is electrified by an electric fence (funny that) and Mel screams. A huge dragon lies behind a door marked 'Keep Out' in the Matrix (then why open it?) and Mel screams. A four eyed monster jumps out of a quarry and Mel screams. A gurgling green baby hatches from an egg and Mel screams. A dome headed dragon appears from the darkness, smoke puffing from his nostrils and Mel screa... oh you get the idea. What a pair of lungs. You can feel the camera wobbling.
3) "JAMIE THE DOCTOR! AHHHHH! AHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zoe, The Mind Robber
A truly surreal, terrifying moment made all the more powerful thanks to Wendy Padbury's squealing. She said she always thought that Zoe was a right screamer but when she went back and watched the videos she was pleasantly surprised to find that wasn't true. Well said Wendy, but when you did let rip by God did we all pay attention.
2) "AHHHHH!" DIDDLE-DUM DIDDLE DUM OOO-WEE-OOO! Barbara, The Daleks
Surely the most celebrated scream in the shows entire history, this cliff-hanging moment is the perfect end to the perfect episode. It strikes me as odd that everybody should condemn the show for being sexist, politically incorrect because of the screaming companions and yet still rejoice in this delicious moment of terror. Never before has a scream carried so much weight because viewers must have been desperate to find out just what has frightened Barbara so much...
1) "EXTERMINATE!" "WOEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" Davros, Genesis of the Daleks
What's this? There isn't a plump-breasted female in the number one spot! Of course not! Because nobody, but nobody could possibly beat Michael Wishers heart pounding realistic wail as Davros is finally exterminated by his own creations. Every single second of possibly the best ever Doctor Who story leads up to this incredible moment where Davros' scheming and thoroughly despicable foul play finally back fires on him. And as he begs for his life to be spared and finally screams away his last breath I actually felt sorry for the most evil man the universe has ever known. Utterly chilling.
The Ten Standard Defences by Mike Morris 24/12/03
It's a good rule of thumb, I always find, to bear in mind that when it comes to film and television the rest of the world is a bit stupid; how else can you explain the movie careers of Ben Affleck and all the Arquette family, while Tom Baker goes unappreciated? Makes no sense to me. Still, the downside is that - unless you live in a cave - coexistence with such people is inevitable. It's bad enough dealing with people who like Star Trek, but worse still are the people who will laugh at your appreciation of Doctor Who but will watch Eastenders every bloody week, plus the omnibus on Sunday. In this cold, inhospitable climate, you may one day find yourself confronted with the following question;
"Doctor Who? How can you watch that crap?"
And, in the fashion of chess, here are ten standard defences to that opening.
The Best of the DWRG by Terrence Keenan 25/12/03
The following list of reviews represents the best of what the DWRG has to offer. They are in no special order:
My Top Ten Favourite (and least favourite) reads of 2003 by Brett Walther 27/12/03
2003 was the year that I rediscovered Doctor Who in print. Having detested Virgin's New Adventures since day one, I remember an overwhelming sense of relief when the BBC took control of the novel series a few years back. Maybe the Doctor would return as a hero, rather than a devious mastermind, and maybe the emphasis of the new books would be on telling stories rather than merely trying to push the envelope beyond recognition. Unfortunately, like many others, I tested the waters of the new range by purchasing The Eight Doctors, War of the Daleks and Legacy of the Daleks, and found that my hopes for a new direction for the range were dashed rather cruelly. That the names of some of my least favourite authors from the Virgin run of books -- David A. McIntee and Christopher Bulis, for instance -- kept popping up in later releases cemented my decision not to bother with Doctor Who in print, and merely stick to the video and DVD releases.
Then, early in 2003, I discovered virtually the entire range of BBC Books in a discount bin at a dollar store (of all places), and had a moment's weakness. Here was my chance to load up on everything that I'd missed, despite having already convinced myself that I hadn't missed out on anything by avoiding the series. About five shopping bags later, I set to work on giving Doctor Who a second chance. I have to say, I haven't regretted the decision.
Although there's only been a handful of truly brilliant reads among the lot, I must say that the BBC Books are a genuine improvement on Virgin's run.
Top Ten reads of 2003:
10) Zeta Major
A truly scary development and evolution of the rather vague concepts
introduced in Planet of Evil. (8/10)
9) The Roundheads
A charming historical that wins you over on its sense of adventure.
(8/10)
8) Dreams of Empire
The Second Doctor captured brilliantly, topped off with a very human story
of revenge and politics in a sci-fi setting. (8/10)
7) Verdigris
This one surprised me. I expected an eye-roller, but laughed all the way
through. Iris works so well pitted against the Third Doctor!
(8/10)
6)Players
If there had been stories like this during the Sixth Doctor and Peri's run
on television, I wouldn't have despised the era so much. (8/10)
5) The Murder Game
I read this on vacation in Florida, and it's the perfect holiday book.
Steve Lyons draws a web of mysteries that make for an enthralling read, and
the Selachians are cool. (8/10)
4) Festival of Death
Made me realize how much I missed Gareth Roberts. The unfolding of the plot
in reverse is brilliant. (9/10)
3) Bunker Soldiers
Kiev is one of the most detailed (and alien!) settings the books have
presented. A simple, yet highly involving tale weaving science fiction and
historical fact masterfully. (10/10)
2) The Banquo Legacy
The only really great Eighth Doctor adventure on the list is a masterpiece.
The scariest Doctor Who book I've ever read, with a fascinating
cast of characters. (10/10)
1) Last of the Gaderene
Mark Gatiss brings the Pertwee era back with a bang in the most
"un-putdownable" of the Doctor Who books. It's got laughs, action
and a lot of chills, encapsulating everything I think Doctor Who should
be in one novel. (10/10)
Among the true stinkers of the titles I read in 2003 are the
following...
10) Deep Blue
Sickeningly violent and gruesome -- and no, I haven't read Rags, nor do I intend to! It's also highly unoriginal.
(5/10)
9) The Face Eater
Should have been called "The Blender", 'cos the titular monster is a
poorly-defined mixture of all sorts of monsters into one, and never really
comes off the page. (5/10)
8) The Taint
Unmemorable, and a bit of a mess. I have no idea what the author was trying
to say in this book, but thank god for Fitz: a breath of fresh (albeit
nicotine-infused) air. (4/10)
7) Dominion
Relentlessly depressing, and those bits set in the psychedelic dimension go
absolutely nowhere. (4/10)
6) Who On Earth is Tom Baker?
This one sat on my shelf for years before I got around to read it in
September. I wish I hadn't. A pointless effort that reveals virtually
nothing about the man, while managing to be seriously disturbing. In a way,
it's one of the scariest things I've ever read. Not in a good way, mind.
(3/10)
5) The Slow Empire
Dave Stone's attempt at crying, "Look at me! Aren't I hilarious?" This book
reminded me of that annoying little cousin that everyone has who's always
trying to draw attention to himself, although he's got nothing to show for
it once everyone's looking. Smug, irritating and ultimately plotless. Like
a collection of dire short stories with no payoff at the end.
(3/10)
4) Escape Velocity
There's a reason why everyone hates this one. Many reasons. The single
most unimaginative Doctor Who story ever. (2/10)
3) Placebo Effect
So continuity laden it stinks. I mean sinks. (2/10)
2) The Quantum Archangel
Painfully derivative, made worse by the most absolutely excruciating use of
hyperbole. (Was I hyperbolising just now?) (2/10)
1) Grimm Reality
Just how I seem to be the only one to loathe this abomination is beyond
me. Uncertain in tone and inconsistent in delivery, this is the most
vile, directionless, pointless, poorly-written excuse for Doctor
Who ever. (In my initial review, I originally
gave it a 2/10, but I'm dropping it down to the depths of Mindwarp and giving it a 1/10 as a competitor
for the worst Doctor Who story ever.)
My top forty turkeys by Rob Matthews 31/12/03
I try my best not to focus on the negative, honest, but Terrence Keenan's own bottom 40 list made me realise that sometimes it's instructive to actually clarify what you don't like as well as what you do. My Who-literateness isn't as extensive as some people's, so as with my forty favourites this is restricted to the stories I know. Could I be arsed to watch more of the Pertwee era, for example, there might well be a lot more Mutants and Mind of Evil here. But I can't. So, in alphabetical order --
Top Ten Doctor Performances by Terrence Keenan 3/1/04
Self- explanatory. Thes are the best performances by the actor in the title role. Each Doctor gets at least one nod, because each of them had at least one tour-de-force go round.
10. Colin Baker in Revelation of the Daleks
Why: It was really the first time showed a full range of emotions as the
Doctor, as well as showing he didn't have to be in full ham mode. It's a
very subtle, strong performance.
09. Peter Davison in Kinda
Why: It's a subtle, deep performance. Davison manages to channel both
youth and deep experience, play the fool and the wise man and have it all
come from within the same character.
08. William Hartnell in The Aztecs
Why: He's big blustery Bill in the scenes with Barbara, but you see his
softer and more charming facade in the scenes with Cameca.
07. Tom Baker in The Androids of Tara
Why: Big Tommy B is in full blown comedy mode for most of the serial, and
then he turns on a dime during the sword fight and becomes so Doctorish,
it makes you want to jump for joy.
06. Tom Baker in The Ark in Space
Why: Tom really takes off in Ark, showins the various
nuances that would define his Hinchcliffe/Holmes era persona. The best
scene is in episode three, when he links up with the Wirrn group mind, and
you think, "bugger! the Doctor really is possessed!"
05. Sylvester McCoy in The Greatest Show in the
Galaxy
Why: Syl is always best when he underplays the part of the Doctor. it's a
subtler, more complete portrayal of his Doctor and just leaps off the
screen.
04. Patrick Troughton in The War Games
Why: Not that the Mighty Trout ever gave a bad performance ever. The War Games is just a complete showcase of what
Troughton could do.
03. Jon Pertwee in The Silurians
Why: Pertwee really comes into his own in this serial. He never makes a
misstep and shows a wide variety of sides.
02. Peter Davison in The Caves of Androzani
Why: It's the way Peter wanted to play the Doctor from the beginning.
01. Tom Baker in The Seeds of Doom
Why: In the span of six episodes, Tom Baker manages to weave about twenty
different personas into the Doctor and make them all come off as a single
character.
Top Ten Companion performances by Terrence Keenan 5/1/04
Self-explanatory.
10. Katy Manning in Carnival of Monsters
Why: She's less bubbly, a bit smarter and comes off as an adult.
09. Sophie Aldred in The Greatest Show in the
Galaxy
Why: Sophie underplays Ace, and manages to show her reacting to
events and people in a more adult fashion.
08. Elisabeth Sladen in The Time Warrior
Why: Lis takes Bob Holmes script and runs with it, and establishes instant
rapport with Jon Pertwee.
07. Janet Fielding in Kinda
Why: Janet not only gets to play a bit more nuanced Tegan, but also gets
to run with a real dark side when Tegan's possessed by the Mara.
06. Lalla Ward in Warriors' Gate
Why: She gets to play a lot of sides in Romana. She's the star of the
show, but manages to also bring the other members of the cast up to her
level.
05. Caroline John in Inferno
Why: Well, Not only is Might Liz Shaw awesome, as always, she manages to
make the parallel Earth Shaw nasty and militaristic, while showing her
opening up under the Doctor's influence.
04. Mary Tamm in The Armageddon Factor
Why: Well Mary Tamm was brill throughout Season 16, but it's in Armageddon that you see the birth of the female Doctor
idea that Lalla Ward would get to run with. Mary gets to show a lot of
sides and does it very well.
03. Katy Manning in The Mind of Evil
Why: For once, Jo is not a flibbertigibit, but a real spy. Katy gets to
show a tough side and a mothering instinct, and make it seem natural.
02. Louise Jameson in Horror of Fang Rock
Why: It's Leela at her balls to the wall best.
01. Elisabeth Sladen in The Hand of Fear
Why: Because Lis sings not only in the big moments -- the possession, her
good-bye scene -- but also in the small moments with Tom. Just Brill.
Dance Fever! The Top Doctor Who Bust-A-Move moments by Terrence Keenan 6/1/04
Deep down, everyone has that urge to make like Gene Kelly and Dance! Dance! Dance! Yes, even the characters (and monsters) that exist in the Whoniverse. These are the best of the best:
The Ice Warrior Fling (The Seeds of Death) -- In The Seeds of Death, an Ice Warrior comes out of a T-Mat receptacle and starts bopping along to his own beat. Why? He's just a dancing fool, that's why.
The Shirna Carny Shuffle (Carnival of Monsters) -- Shirna is not only Vorg's lovely assistant, but she can bust a move in between showings on the miniscope. She must have been a chorus girl at one point.
The Sacred Demnos Waltz (The Masque of Mandragora) -- Although a waltz, it's very Martha Graham. Lots of off time steps, hand raising and the occasional spin and backward movement. Plus, you get to shoot bolts from your fingers when you're done.
The White Person Masque Two Step (The Masque of Mandragora) -- So much fun that even dear old Sarah Jane Smith joins in with Guliano -- although I guess he really wants to partner up with Marco....
The Devil's End Maypole Dance, with Morris Dancers (The Daemons) -- It's really nice to see the Doctor, Jo and Benton participate in celebratory pagan fertility rites after saving the world. By the way, what the fuck is a Morris Dancer? What do they do besides beat large sticks against each other? And why do they wear lederhosen?
The Black Orchid Charleston (Black Orchid) -- Who knew that Miss Wannabe Human League fan Tegan Jovanka could Charleston? She's a natural.
The Sisterhood of Karn Teleportation Dance (The Brain of Morbius) -- this is very Twyla Tharp, mixed with Shields and Yarnell. Lost of stuttering hand movements, as if they were gophers climbing out of a hole.
The Sisterhood of Karn Circle Death Skank (The Brain of Morbius) -- Far more aggressive. It uses spins, twirls and torches. Not to mention some really weird chanting. Useful for starting fires.
The Mighty Kroll Swampie Stomp (The Power of Kroll) -- It's a simple beat and you can jog along to it. Any dance you can do with spears is cool, and not only is it aerobically healthy, but the chant is easy to remember, too!
Ten Notable Sets of Legs by Mike Morris 10/1/03
Earlier on Billy and Goronwy are talking about bees, and Goronwy tells him how the Queen Bee is an ordinary worker bee when young "until she's fed with Royal Jelly, her physiology changes, and she turns into a Queen". Billy then says, pointedly, "It's that simple? A change of diet?"
He goes off and starts guzzling the food which Delta has fed to the child. The child, you might remember, was an ordinary slimy green Chimeron when young - until she was fed with the special food, her physiology changed, and she turned into a Chimeron Queen. So, not surprisingly, when Billy eats the same food, his physiology changes and becomes similar to that of Delta and the child. Because THAT'S WHAT THE FOOD IS FOR!
Is it really so difficult to grasp?
Okay, so Billy's legs were a bit of a weak excuse to move onto that topic, but I just needed to clear it up. In fact there's very little in Delta and the Bannermen connected with legs, although some might say it was a sure sign that the show was on its last legs... but I don't. So there.
Doctor Who Fashion Triumphs (TARDIS crew only) by Terrence Keenan 12/1/04
Yeah, it's a rip-off from a couple other contributors (Joe Ford & Rob Matthews), but I'm in a fashion mood, so here are the winners, in no particular order.
Jamie's Kilt (The Two Doctors) -- The New One with the shoulder cover thingy. Makes Jamie look majestic.
Romana's School Girl Uniform (City of Death) -- Not only does Lalla Ward look awesome in it, the uniform acts as character commentary.
Liz Shaw's mini-dress (The Silurians) -- It's a dress that manages to be classy and show off Caroline John's supercallifragilistic legs.
Romana's White Dress (The Ribos Operation) -- The Gorgeous Mary Tamm in a white dress, funky boots, and a white furry hoodie/cloak thing that makes her look majestic and very very hot.
Tegan's short suit (Snakedance) -- Janet Fielding could work a miniskirt, but it's actually this shorts and long sleeve top ensemble (and short haircut) that really brings out her best.
Leela's borrowed sweater & jeans (Horror of Fang Rock) -- When one thinks of Leela, one thinks of leather. But, when Louise Jameson's is in the sweater and jeans, we can see how good looking she is without trying to stare at her breasts.
The 4th Doctor Variations -- Love them all, even the season 18 burgundy version. Technically it was a costume, but Tom made it look like clothes.
The 7th Doctor Dark look -- I'll forgive the sweater. However, the rest looks really good on Syl, and for the first time since Tom, it doesn't look like a costume.
Romana's Oriental theme (Warriors' Gate) -- Lalla Ward looks so adorable in that red blouse. Then again, she could wear sackcloth and look brilliant.
Romana's red dress (The Stones of Blood) -- Woof. The Gorgeous Mary Tamm was made to wear dresses like this. Absolutely stunning.
Romana's white dress (The Armageddon Factor) WOOF!!!!!!!! See the red dress entry.
Romana's pink ensemble (Destiny of the Daleks) The Adorable Lalla Ward in pink is a beautiful thing. Woof.
Sarah Jane Smith's pink striped overalls (The Hand of Fear) -- It's just on the edge of awful, but works so well on Lis Sladen. It also shows off that fabulous booty of hers.
Turlough goes casual (Planet of Fire) -- Mark Strickson is finally out of the uniform, shows some leg, doesn't look ridiculous in a speedo and most of all, looks relaxed for the first time in the show.
Sarah Jane Smith's suit (The Time Warrior) -- She looks classy, determined. And it shows off that awesome Lis booty. Woof!!!
Ace's fashion protest Tuxedo (Ghost Light) -- Sophie doesn't do much for me, but she does rock a tuxedo.
Doctor Who Fashion Disasters (TARDIS crew only) by Terrence Keenan 13/1/04
Does this need any explanations? Didn't think so. These looks transcend eras.
The 6th Doctor's costume -- Technicolor nightmare. There's nothing else to say.
Peri's orange shorts/top (Attack of the Cybermen) -- It screams "Please look at my tits!" It makes Nicola Bryant look cheap.
Tegan's air hostess uniform -- Look, Janet Fielding has gone and joined The Human League.
Peri's period frock (The Mark of the Rani) -- Pimp slaps need to be issued to whoever decided that ugly yellow and red dress would look good on anyone.
The Jo Grant Variations -- We do think Katy Manning is cute. Really we do, but my goodness, three years of fashion nightmares leaves a lot to be desired.
Nyssa's Brown ensembles -- Never liked the tutu, nor the pants variation. It's not the color, but the puffiness that makes Sarah Sutton look awful.
Adric's pajamas -- Must we travel down this road?
Ace's skirt ensemble (Remembrance of the Daleks) -- We just need to accept that Sophie Aldred is a pants kind of girl. Also, lose the bomber jacket.
Zoe's Cat Suit (The Mind Robber) -- In one aspect, it's a complete turn-on. But a spangly cat suit? No.
Sarah Jane Smith's gauchos (Terror of the Zygons) -- Yeah, even Lis Sladen slipped up now and then. The boots help a bit, but still can't cover up the overall ugliness.
Peri's tie-front blouse (The Two Doctors) The obsession with Nicola's breasts reaches a low point. And while I'm on it, whoever told Nicola to cut her hair when she joined the show needs a big foot up the ass.
The Mel Bush Variations -- I think Bonnie Langford is cute. I really do. It's the whole redhead thing. But.. what she's wearing... Aaaauuuggghhhh!!!!!
Turlough's School uniform -- Whenever I see Mark Strickson in this, I think of a mortician. That's not a good sign.
The 5th Doctor's ensemble -- It does make you think of Peter Davison automatically, and the jacket and sweater are all right. But those pants are diabolical. Methinks JNT loved stripes a bit too much.
Leela's borrowed Outsider cloak -- Think Liberace meets Sheena, Queen of the Jungle and wince....
Ten books I recommend to Who fans by Rob Matthews 14/1/04
Talk about procrastination - I came up with the idea for this list some two years ago! A fella called Martin Gardner had posted a top ten list of Sci-Fi movies Doctor Who fans should watch, and though I took note of his suggestions, I nevertheless thought to myself, 'Hmm, well that's making the assumption that Doctor Who fans are necessarily sci-fi fans', which for me isn't really true. So I decided to come up with a list of non sci-fi stuff that bears a likeness to Who - in characterisation, tone, attitude and stuff. After all, one of the most interesting things about TV Doctor Who was the way the beautiful but naive premise was counterpointed by a sophisticated level of semiotic thickness and literate intelligence in the scripting which was understated - in fact actively disguised - by the fast-paced narrative structure and associated conventions, giving the whole production a multilayered cohesion which could be enjoyed in an accessible but very real and satisfying way.
Heh heh, okay - I nicked that last bit from Mike Morris, but though he was taking the piss with the verbiage the gist is perfectly true - one of the best things about Doctor Who as a fiction is that it doesn't simply look up its own arse for inspiration. Doctor Who on TV had a host of literary influences which it wore proudly on its sleeve (I always think of the seamless Asimov/Christie/Herbert bootleg that was The Robots of Death), and became a branch of children's literature in its own right with the Target novelisations. Its transition to occasional 'proper' literature - nudged along most forcefully by Paul Cornell with Timewyrm: Revelation, Kate Orman with Set Piece, Larry Miles with Interference and Dead Romance - has been quite a natural one. Doctor Who has a unique ability to introduce the viewer/reader to other works, to crib from movies, books and TV shows of just about every sort without losing its own distinctive character. That, er, 'heterogeneric' quality is in my humble opinion one of the most rewarding things about it.
So, for those who are interested, here's the fiction I'd recommend to fellow Who fans -
A list of things to accept as a Who Fan by Terrence Keenan 15/1/04
Partially inspired by Rob Matthews list of debunking Who myths (Testify!), partially by me coming to terms about certain biases of my own in regards to Who, what follows is a list of things to make peace with as a Who fan.
Doctor Who isn't really science fiction.
It's escapist entertainment that melds science fiction, fantasy and
magic realism. It delves into comedy, horror (Gothic and other strains),
tragedy, historical fiction and numerous other "categories". It may use
sci-fi concepts more often than other, but the basic premise is a police
box that can travel the universe in any time. Total Fantasy.
The special effects leave a little to be desired.
Please, everybody knows that the Myrka, Kroll, The Magma Beast, the
Slyther, the Ogron "God" and numerous other monster creations are
horseshit. Yes, Who used blue screen (CSO). They used cheap model work.
There's no need to comment on these things anymore.
Good stories make the best Who.
Sorry, this is the truth. If you don't have a story then it's not
good Who. And story doesn't necessarily mean plot. Ghost Light tells a complex and wonderful story, but the
plot is middling. Same with The Caves of Androzani,
The Greatest Show in the Galaxy, Kinda and others.
Interesting Characters are essential for great Who.
You really want to know the real success of the Williams era. Just
look at the Characters: Scaroth, Duggan, The Graf Vynda-K, Binro the
Heretic, Garron and Unstoffe, Grendel, Madam Lamia, The Doctor, Romana
(both of them), K9, Drax, Borusa and more. In The War
Games, you have the War Lord, the Security Chief and the War Chief,
all of them brilliant. The Ambassadors of Death has
Reegan. It's the characters that make viewing compelling, above all else.
The Daleks have rarely been done properly.
There are five stories where the Daleks really come off as true scary
monsters: Power, Evil, Genesis, Resurrection and Revelation. I'm not denigrating the other pepperpot
tales, but it's in these five that you see them moving beyond the
"Exterminate!" cliches.
A consistent continuity is not a necessity in Who.
True. Does the fact that Genesis of the Daleks
turn old Dalek continuity into a train wreck make it worse? No. Is it the
end of the world that Atlantis was destroyed three times? No. Truth be
told, I love all the little continuity clashes in Who. It's part of
the charm. It's fun to debate on the side, but it's not an essential part
of Who. (Note: I hope that the New Who series being planned
tosses out all the old continuity and creates something new and exciting.)
Not everyone will like the same stories, so get over it and
don't make it personal.
This is not a slam against debate about Who, but a plea for
tolerance of other viewpoints. A short time ago, I got dragged into a
pissing match with someone I thought was a comrade over which book line
was better. I tried to debate the issues, but he seemed more angry that I
had a different opinion than him, and tried to make it personal. Right
after that, I almost got into another one on Fenric.
C'mon gang, it's only a kid's TV show. Lighten up.
There are no classic stories.
Hoo Boy. Please stop calling certain stories "classic" Doctor
Who. I've done it before, but it's a pointless thing to do. Why? I'm
going to sound pedantic, but methinks that since Who has such a wide
variety of styles, formats, and themes, quantifying what makes a "classic"
story is a bit obtuse. For me with Who, classic becomes a synonym
of derivative, which is a really bad thing. Who is best when it
looks forward and tries new stuff on for size.
Ten Reviews To Have A Peek At by Mike Morris 19/1/04
These are ten of the pieces I've enjoyed most of all in the years I've been posting. I say "ten of", rather than "the ten", because I wanted to get a cross-section of all the different types of review that pop up on this site; to help with this I've limited myself to one review per person. I've also tried to avoid pieces that other people have listed elsewhere. So I'll stress that this isn't a top ten as such, just ten bloody good reviews; oh, and they're in alphabetic order.
Andrew McCaffrey's review of Mad Dogs and Englishmen: Andrew McCaffrey has, for some time now, been posting balanced, accurate and infuriatingly right reviews of the Doctor Who novels and he's one of the reviewers I trust most. This one made me think (for a second or so) that perhaps 'd been a bit harsh on Mad Dogs and Englishmen. Andrew didn't quite make me change my mind, but he did make me laugh repeatedly at his conspiracy theory that BBC Books were trying to make us all blind.
Andrew Wixon's Life in the Year Of...: Andrew's reviews are bloody good in their own right, particularly around the Sixth Doctor's era. However, he won my awe by undertaking the mammoth task (known to some as the "Tim Roll-Pickering") of watching all stories, in chronological order, in a year. It's quite a feat, and his conclusions in this piece are very interesting and presented in a very modest way.
Finn Clark's review of Imperial Moon: Finn Clark is Mr Novel Reviewer at this stage. Not only has he read pretty much every Doctor Who book ever, but he analyses them unfussily and brilliantly. Finn has an ability to rip a bad book to sub-molecular pieces, so although he's come up with a fair few thoughtful critiques in his time I really couldn't resist picking him in negative mode. I was tempted by his piece on Byzantium!, just for describing the book as like a "diarrhoea mouthwash" (oh my). However the conceit behind this piece on Imperial Moon is so funny and clever that it got the nod.
Graeme Burk's review of The Caught on Earth Arc: I remember reading Graeme Burk's review of Interference and thinking, "Bloody hell, this guy's a cut above the rest of us." He isn't the site's most prolific contributor, but when he's got something to say you know it'll be good. This dissection of a very important six-book series is definitive.
Joe Ford's and Tim Roll Pickering's pieces on John Nathan-Turner: Okay, so I'm cheating, but these two pieces work absolutely beautifully as a pair. I was initially going to choose Joe's tribute, which like everything Joe writes was personal, passionate, honest and loving. I thought it was a very brave and beautiful piece, and I admired Joe enormously for writing it... and then, having a look to refresh my memory, I scrolled down to Tim Roll-Pickering's balanced and thoughtful dissection of JNT's tenure, which is wonderful in its own right and kicks off Joe's piece beautifully.
Matthew Harris' review of The Trial of a Time Lord: Self-proclaimed Captain Tangent (Wasn't he a Mysteron Agent?), Matthew "Fictional Middle Names" Harris has been known to embark on a digression or two in his time. Personally I almost always find his reviews very funny. His piece on The Trial of a Time Lord travels all round the houses in its quest for humour, and not only is it very funny, but it's deceptively sharp beneath all the anecdotes. All Matthew's pieces are fun and good-natured, except maybe his review of The Sun Makers where he seems a bit annoyed with someone or other...
Peter Jermey's review of Resurrection of the Daleks: This edges out the pseudonymous "Thomas Jefferson's" suspiciously similar review of Planet of Fire... but I've gone for this piece not just because it's gut-weakeningly funny, but because I think it's the most accurate assessment of Resurrection I've read, that highlights the glossy padding and intriguingly postulates that this most Dalek-ish story would be better without the Daleks in it. In case you haven't checked this out yet, it's four very funny episode synopses, leading to a concluding statement that sums up Resurrection of the Daleks perfectly, and is possibly the single greatest sentence on this website. I shamelessly tried to copy the style on one occasion, but I couldn't possibly match this.
Rob Matthews' review of Season 26: Picking only one of Rob's pieces is nigh-on impossible; nobody's able to seriously analyse a story like him (although he's still able to produce a good rant; see his piece on Dying in the Sun) and I can't express how much I respect him. His reviews are things of thoughtful beauty. After a lot of thought I've gone for his review of Season 26 as his best, partly because Terrence Keenan's already mentioned his Fourth Doctor piece, and partly because this is an astonishingly perceptive critique that highlights similarities and differences between each story that I'd never noticed, strengthening the argument that this is one of Doctor Who's strongest periods.
Robert Smith?'s review of The Ancestor Cell: Again, picking one review from Robert Smith? is so difficult. I was tempted to choose his very funny piece on Coldheart, but thanks to a typo he implied that I was the author of Deep Blue... and even though he fixed it right away I'm still emotionally scarred. Also worth mentioning is the fascinating non-fan interview/review of Damaged Goods. But I've gone for his review of The Ancestor Cell, which is a lesson in how to dismantle a book fairly, amusingly, and without ever descending to a the level of a flaming.
Terrence Keenan's review of BBC v Virgin: After Terrence was so nice about me in his own "best of" list, I would have felt bad if I let him out. Just as well he's one of this site's best contributors, then. This recent piece is followed by an equally sharp piece on the book companions. Terrence usually swims against the tide - see his views on The Curse of Fenric and Human Nature - but he never fails to make me think and reassess my opinions, and what's more he says more in four hundred words than I can say in a thousand. Somehow, this combative piece actually benefits from being a response to a newsgroup argument I wasn't party to; Terrence's argument that BBC Books are better than the Virgin line is very convincing, exposing the "weren't Virgin great" views as cosy nostalgia and highlighting the undervalued experimentation in the BBC line.
So that's the ten. But allow me a final word. I almost didn't post this because of the reviewers I had to leave out; Alan Thomas, Robert Thomas, Jamas Enright, Michael Hickerson, Daniel Callahan, and countless others. Richard Radcliffe, Steve Scott, Jason A. Miller, John Seavey and many more... I reckon it goes to show how bloody brilliant this site is, and dammit, I'm glad to be here with you guys...