Big Finish Productions The Wishing Beast and The Vanity Box

Written by	Paul Magrs
Format	Compact Disc
Released	2007

Starring Colin Baker, Bonnie Langford and Jean Marsh

Synopsis: What can it mean when the Doctor and Mel are drawn to an asteroid by a message from the strange, elderly Applewhite sisters? The travellers are promised that they will receive their dearest wishes when they enter the frozen forests of this benighted shard of a world. But the ghosts that haunt this place are desperate to warn the Doctor about the sisters' promises. Only the ghosts know the true nature of the legendary Wishing Beast.

• Should have wished harder by Thomas Tiley

Should have wished harder by Thomas Tiley 1/4/26

Receiving a strange distress call/invitation, the Doctor and Mel arrive at the home of two strange sisters living alone on a haunted asteroid and are presented with the chance of having their (well, Mel's) greatest wish come true.

Not being a fan of the previous Paul Magrs audio stories should have been enough warning concerning this one. Nevertheless, it seemed like an interesting story and seeing it go cheap, I decided to risk it. It is a three parter, and this structure does it no favors. Despite being shorter, the story seems to have even more padding than necessary. The opening few minutes are filler in its purest form, just time wasting.

As in Stephen Maslin's reviews of this period, 2007 wasn't a good year for Big Finish for the most part. His review of this story is relevant: the story isn't as funny as it thinks, nor is it exciting or scary. The beginning is especially botched, with the TARDIS arriving in mist surrounded woodlands and the duo walking towards the mansion and getting frightened by the ghosts. With proper build up and sound design, this could have scary stuff but as done on this CD, it wouldn't have frightened a toddler; as such, the characters' reactions come across as ridiculous and stupid. The sisters are so obviously up to no good it's a surprise no previous victim ever fell for their scheme unless the intention is they got sloppy with age.

It comes across as sub-Neil Gaiman, storywise. A fairy tale like with the witch, the beast that grants wishes at a price, the backstory involving the sisters' brother, the ghostbusting hoover, the ghosts (one of which is called Mildrew - a Gaimanesque type name if I have ever come across one). The solution, feeding the beast the Doctor's life and then encouraging it to rebel against the true master mind feels familiar as well.

Colin Baker and Bonnie Langford are the best bit about it, but even they can't get the material to work. In the interviews, Jean Marsh talks about how radio acting lets you break loose, but here she comes across as a bit amateur and loud, a stereotypical witch. As she points out, she has experience in, but for a better evil witch performance from her, watch her in Return or Oz or for a Doctor Who example The Crusade. Marsh, interestingly enough, also played a ghostbusting character Mrs Croker after immortality in a CBBC show called the Ghost Hunter. I wonder if Magrs ever saw it, that show also had vacuum cleaners used on ghosts and ghosts drained to provide everlasting life. Geraldine Newman as her sunglasses-wearing sister does better, coming across as a nice if dotty old woman who occasionally lets slide a few darker or nastier comments that reveal her and her sister's true nature.

The one part story, The Vanity Box, is the stronger story despite its short length, serving as a sequel/prequel to the previous story and explains how the wishing box came to end up on the asteroid. Set up north in a hair salon that makes women young again, it's a nice story, with a funny performance by Toby Longworth as the hairdresser, fun ideas such as the Doctor dressing up to investigate, funny lines that remind me of Alan Bennett (and that's a crossover I would love to listen to), if he wrote for Doctor Who and some good support (although would a northern housewife who is to be so judgey be happy to let the Doctor dress up in her clothes?). Almost worth the dire previous three episodes.

If it were just the final story, it would be easily a nine or ten out of ten, but taken as a whole it's a four or a five out of ten. A shame, as the story has some talent and potential behind it, but the execution is flawed.